The house is alarmingly quiet this morning with the little badgers being ‘on holiday’ at Nanny and Papa’s for a full weekend; in part to accommodate our party-going tonight and in part because it’s so much more fun being spoiled rotten there, than being harried by a tiresome mother at home.

It has been rather an eventful few days, with one thing and other – it’s a busy time of year to be a teacher apart from anything else – so the peace is welcome, if unnerving.

We started last weekend with a playdate; two delightful little creatures, one per child, each better behaved and more agreeable than my own. All was harmonious – the sumptuous tea time repast preparations were underway, the sun was shining – life was marvellous. Clearly, this level of tranquility couldn’t last. Luna, our delinquent kitten, was equally disconcerted, it seems, and decided to liven up proceedings with the proffer of a bird. A lifeless bird. Dropped proudly at the feet of the 9 year olds.

Luna’s previous casualties, tiny chicks, picked off mercilessly one by one over the course of one bloodthirsty weekend were so tiny as to be almost unrecognisable, this little feathery beauty was perfect, except for a wound to the neck and a glassy look to the eye. My child was horrified and proved herself her mother’s daughter by standing on a patio chair and closing her eyes in the hope that someone else would deal with it. Thank heavens for her marvellous friend who helped me dig a grave in a peaceful spot; this little lady was already very highly regarded in these circles, now we’re looking into some sort of plaque to honour her.

Later, we had a short memorial service for the bird. The cat was not invited. The littlest badger was concerned that none of the bird’s family were in attendance, but contacting them was problematic and their presence there would have carried significant risk. My husband was somewhat perplexed by our arrangements as we attempted to celebrate the bird’s short life and I definitely heard him mutter something about a wheelie bin, but it seemed the least we could do to make amends for having a ruthless executioner in the family.

Relations between me and the cat have been rather strained since, but she seems utterly remorseless, making no effort whatsoever to ease the friction between us; pouncing on me at 5:50am daily and disappearing shortly before her appointment with the vet – the second consecutive appointment I have had to sheepishly cancel.

After a morning of misconduct and disregard for social mores, she is now serenely snoozing atop the playroom sofa, winning us back round. Oh, for the life of a cat…

With school-based extra activities galore at both the girls’ educational establishment and my own, it has been a hectic week. The highlight was skipping success at Town Sports. I am not at all competitive and have had no sporting success whatsoever in my life – the only notable thing I ever achieved at school was breaking my arm in Netball – but I was rather pleased she won; not least because my husband proved quite how low his boredom threshold is and after two hours, slightly colder than comfortable on a picnic blanket on a field was almost in despair. The medal took the edge off it.

Anyway, a birthday party tonight, so I have cards and gifts to buy and nails to paint and outfits to ponder over; I don’t get out much these days – maybe an afternoon nap and a glass of milk before heading out? Any top tips from those less out of practice than me would be most welcome!